


why not eat frog, do you?

by TheWeirdOnes



Series: Rants- Yeah, That's The whole Thing [3]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Crack, First Star Wars fic, Food, Gen, I think I need help, amphibians from questionable sources, pls no hate, that's two fanfictions in a row, which are food based, yoda rants about food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWeirdOnes/pseuds/TheWeirdOnes
Summary: Yoda rants about frogs, Ahsoka and Rex come to Luke's rescue.-LowFlyingOctopus
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, Luke Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Luke Skywalker & Yoda
Series: Rants- Yeah, That's The whole Thing [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024729
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	why not eat frog, do you?

"Dinner time, it is," said the green alien, Luke was not sure what species he was. "Good food, not like your slop."

Luke bit back a retort and followed... whoever he is to a mud-based house in the middle of the swamp. Thankfully it was dry inside and he squeezed through the small door, bumping his head on the low ceiling. Luke headed into what appeared to be the main room rubbing his bruised skull mournfully he glanced around. The house was small, a haggard old bed in one corner, and a pot over a warm fire. Luke curiously peered into the pot, inside there where some small brown vegetables and an unremarkable looking amphibian. Giving a yelp of surprise Luke stumbled backwards.

"Problem, have you?" The little green alien came back from one of the smaller rooms and looked up at Luke curiously. "There's some sort of amphibian inside the pot," answered Luke, who was desperately trying to control his breathing; _'look at you!'_ He thought, _'I bet father never jumped at a frog!'_. "Hmm, yes; concern yourself not, extra protein are they," answered the alien. "Do you want to poison me?" cried Luke, "why can't you take me to Yoda now, in fact if you're not going to take me than what an I even doing here?"

The alien sighed, "I cannot train him, the boy has no patience."

"He will learn patience," a blue hue appeared, Obi Wan's voice echoed strangely and his outline became more sharp.

 _"Patience? Skywalker A?_ Heh, heh, heh! Maybe learn better jokes from young Tano, should you."

Obi Wan spoke again, "the boy's heritage is not his fault, and my grandpadawan has _excellent_ taste in jokes."

By this time Luke was thoroughly bewildered, the green alien was _Yoda?_ Who was this Tano?

"All of worst and," added Yoda, "eat my frogs, he will not."

"As far as I believe," answered Obi Wan, "no Jedi yet has eaten your home-cooked frogs."

"A young Padawan, I remember, tried a frog." Yoda retorted, his eyes full of mischief, "deny that now, do you?"

Obi Wan sighed, "I do not, though I remind you that Anakin ate anything (and I mean anything) that would cross his path.

"And his son, why so different should he be?" Yoda lifted an amphibian with one green claw, waving it for emphasis.

Luke, who was by now concerned that this great master had conformed to senility, backed off slowly; edging quietly towards his ship.

"My job, why is it always, to catch young Skywalker's when they fall; your turn to babysit now, it is." Yoda was becoming more animated.

"Baby-! Anakin was _my_ Padawan! I was the one who always had to dig him out of his messes, and to clean up after him; as I recall!"

Unbeknownst to the old masters, Luke had finally reached the edge of the bog; where Artoo was beeping excitedly. "What is it, buddy?" Looking up Luke saw an old shuttle painted with symbols of the old Republic land in the bog some distance away. Hurrying over to it he spied the shuttle door lower and amongst the pressurising gases released a togrutan woman descended; she was followed by a man in some mix of stormtrooper and mando armour. Luke scrunched his face in puzzlement.

The togrutan woman offered her hand, "I'm Ahsoka Tano, your father was my master."

Luke felt the ground almost give way beneath him, hands reached out and grabbed him; stopping his fall. "Woah, kid," a voice said. "Ahsoka! Don't scare the kid in the first two minutes, force knows you have a talent for that."

Ahsoka only harrumphed in mild and amused irritation. Then she glanced round, "arguing again, are they?" She cocked her head at the Jedi masters bickering outside the small hut. The man who held Luke up only snorted, "seems so," he offers Luke a hand; "Captain Rex, formally of the 501st battalion serving under General Anakin Skywalker." Luke numbly shook it, mutely nodding. "Now who's scaring him?" Ahsoka joked, "we'll leave them to their chat, I think; come on kid." And with that Ahsoka turned and slipped back into the ship. Hoisting Luke up by his arm and giving a friendly nod, Rex moved to follow. Luke was not entirely sure what was going on, but at least these people seemed sane; with one more glance at the bickering masters he turned and followed the friends of his Father's into their ship.

Night had fallen, Master Yoda of the fallen order of Jedi looked up, "Concluded, it is."

"Indeed," agreed Obi Wan, "we will both teach the boy." Turning to where Luke had last been the masters stopped in surprise, the darkness clearly showed the shadows where Ahsoka and Rex's ship had been and chirping insects hopped comically amongst the bent reeds; "Oh," said Obi Wan. 


End file.
